1. |
Is This What You Wanted
04:55
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Needle in the haystack
I found you
Cuts wide open, ligaments exposed
Sorry face, sore disgrace to your family
Almost thought I'd join you
Selflessness is keeping me alive
Read the obituary, it didn't seem so clear
At the time, everything reminded me of that night on the pier
Do I drop in the water, let it flow
What's my decision here
Do I drop in the water, let it flow
Or should I let you go
Oh my fucking god
What have I done
It reads like angst between these lines
But I regret so many things in all of my past lives
Is this what you wanted, not like it really matters
Keep calling I keep calling and still nobody answers
The ghost of a beautiful, pure fucking soul
Six feet under, broke off one half a whole
Leave it, let it go
Serotonin syndrome has locked me into manic mode
Am I fucked up, what is my fucking deal
So far I think you weren't lying when you said you had issues
Schismatic lobotomy
"You've got psychological issues pal"
Says the one who killed themself
Rolling on the floor laughing
About some shock commentary bullshit
Who can I make mad today
So far just myself
Oh my fucking god
What have I done
It reads like angst between these lines
But I regret so many things in all of my past lives
I found you
Cuts wide open, ligaments exposed
Sorry face, sore disgrace to your family
Almost thought I'd join you
Selflessness is keeping me alive
Is this what you wanted, not like it really matters
Keep calling I keep calling and still nobody answers
The ghost of a beautiful, pure fucking soul
Six feet under, broke off one half a whole
Is this what you wanted
So be it
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2. |
Application Status
03:38
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Call me back at your latest convenience
Five unread messages, all from corporate
Is terminal west the same as terminal east
All workers on overdrive
You must own your license for 12 months
Before we can consider your application
Wasting your time is not our policy
Be sure to drug test before we tell you these things
Possession of a vehicle is mandatory
Four grand a month, what a steal
Do you prefer part-time or full-time
I'd prefer if you shut the fuck up
Background checks into my malevolence
Meetings, interviews, I'm sick of this
Something tells me you're a part of the test
A Turing of my patience and my lack of rest
You must own your license for 12 months
Before we can consider your application
[Incoherent scatting]
Suffering a system of majority
Wait times to flex their superiority
Flying out the window with the papers
Flying out with the papers
*Beep* uhm leave a message after the beep
Oh the beep already happened, fuck
Call me back whenever you can
Incompetent fucking cunts running the system
Failing the system
Incompetent pricks, dicks
Running the system into the ground
I'm no more a failure than you
Why do you marginalise me
Like a kick to the chest
I've worked so hard for this
You must own your license for 12 months
Before we can consider your application
Suck my dick
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3. |
Cut It Off
03:35
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To them it must have seemed like
Two long lost lovers meeting for the second to last time
A sickly repose rooted in all those books you read
Where romance is a chemical reaction observed through nihilism
Stepping into the building
Cold air, getting colder
"What'll you take" says the wrinkled crow
Just a coffee please, a coffee's fine
I'm working on my appetite
Trying to get down to 165
"You should eat" says the bitch in black
Just a coffee please, a coffee's fine
"You should eat" says the bitch in black
Just a coffee please, a coffee's fine
Just fine
To them I must have looked like a psychopath
Not that I cared what anybody else thought anyway
Drink up, it's getting cold
Live a little while you're still not old
I can count on one hand
The number of times you've called me "friend"
And here you repay me
By not drinking what I paid for
Here's the list if you even care
Faggot, retard, incompetent
That's who I am to you
Is this what I am to you
To them I must have looked like a psychopath
Not that I cared what anybody else thought
To them I must have looked like a psychopath
Not that I cared what anybody else thought
Cut it off
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4. |
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The phoenix he helped create
Out of control, boy without a dad
Shot the gun that startled my life
While I drove him with a forty-five
Friends for years, images in red
Blew off his own motherfucking head
Confidence, death, insecurity
Men fall unrealized
Unrealized, unrealized
Making a decision of death
While everyone around you plead
Now you fly in peace
I hope, my friend
A man can't avoid what he's meant to do
When he's meant to do it
Even if he doesn't really want to
My memories are of fun and friendship
Of weakness within the strength of youth
For reasons undefined, reasons undefined
Reasons undefined, reasons undefined
Friends for years, images in red
Blew off his own motherfucking head
Confidence, death, insecurity
Your men fall unrealized
Don't you realize evil lives in the motherfucking skin?
Don't you realize that evil lives in the motherfucking skin?
Don't you realize that evil lives in the motherfucking skin?
Don't you realize that evil lives in the skin?
Don't you realize evil lives in the motherfucking skin?
Don't you realize that evil lives in the motherfucking skin?
Why the fuck did you take him away from us, you motherfucker, —fucker, —fucker, —fucker?!
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5. |
Woah!
03:49
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Hands shaking, I can barely concentrate
The words written, indicative of a darker state
My eyes, twitching to and fro you are
Doubled in my line of sight
Lips, soft, I try to kiss them but it's all lost
Endorphins, fulfilling a sexual goal for naught
Five years, or was it two I can't quite recall
The day you disappeared was the day I made the fall
Doctor can you hear me, this is my last request
Cut me very slowly, I don't deserve it fast
Save your pills, save your mask, I need the pain
Let me feel every inch of your blade
Is this too edgy for you
Cry your tears out you fucking baby, and take your bottle too
"Oh I can't handle concepts involving shocking subjects"
"My name is pussy, I'm so weak that words make me sick"
This is an FYI to all you attention-starved rejects
These words aren't trite, take an SSRI, feel it fucking bite
Woah!
I'm not sorry doc
Expression keeps me sane
I miss her lips so fucking much
Her sounds
Just to hear her moan again
The lust
The alcohol's worn off
Hands shaking
Hands shaking, I can barely concentrate
The words written, indicative of a darker state
My eyes, twitching to and fro you are
Doubled in my line of sight
Here we are suffocating
In our own skin
Here we are suffocating
In our own skin
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6. |
Dr. Parkinson's
04:10
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Scalpel please
Another day at work
New patient, what's his name, doesn't matter
Pulling the blanket backwards
Revealing the skin
I knocked a shot back prior
I'm feeling set to win
Keep your eyes shut, you needn't be awake
Nurse, a little more sedative for his sake
Keep your eyes shut, you needn't be awake
The anticipation's giving me the shakes
Keep steady
Stop shaking
In it goes
Blood everywhere
Is this what I signed up for
Sharp instruments piercing his core
Live human, presented before me
Memories, dreams, a dying piece of meat
Not cut out for this line of work
Might go back to being a cook
Doctor Parkinson's
Scalpel please
Liquor and a scalpel please
Liquor and a scalpel please
Dying, do not resuscitate
I'm very confident in my actions
As your superior I command you to look away
Keep your eyes shut, you needn't be awake
Nurse, a little more sedative for his sake
One, two, three, four, one two three
One, two, three, four, one two three
One, two, three, four, one two three
One, two, three incisions
I am finding sexual arousal in this
It's a little too late to stop the operation
I imagine if I moaned
It would sound like
[Moan]
I imagine if I moaned
It would sound just like
[Sigh]
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7. |
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Wellbutrin, zoloft, oh what a joy
A part of the self, the mind stays sick
Prozac, faux Latin attributed to pills of gold
GABAergic delights need not apply
This is it
The eclipse
Obscured
By my fat tits
Peddling drugs to a fractured mind
Benzodiazepines will keep you in line
Chin up puppy, obey your master
Suck this chemical cock
Leave it to fate
Leave it to fate
I'm going backwards
This'll always be a part of me
I'm going backwards
This'll always be a part of me
Suffering no more
What secrets does the mind hold
This is it
The eclipse
Obscured
By my fat tits
I'll still fade down the drink
Nothing could replace you, baby
Nothing makes me feel the same
No matter what I take
Loss of pleasure in life
Reaching for a dangerous rush
Bring me closer to death
To feel alive I hurt those around me
Smashing everything, it annoys me
Inanimate objects, death toll 100
A sniveling little punk with the halo of an angel
Smash it, I'll smash it
Leave it to fate
Eat well, exercise
Cull all the weight
On the body is equal to the mind
Can't satiate
My appetite for freedom
The last time I ate
Was a pizza with beer on the side
Smash it, I'll smash it
Wellbutrin, zoloft, oh what a joy
A part of the self, the mind stays sick
Prozac, faux Latin attributed to pills of gold
GABAergic delights need not apply
This is it
One, two, three, four, five, six
The eclipse
One, two, three
Obscured
One, two, three, four
By my fat tits
One, two
This is it
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8. |
Modulating Circumflex
05:23
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Revolving around the centre
It finds me now
The origin of all life's suffering
Cowering under the weight of its might
Crushing, smashing everything
Revolutions in time
Synchronously itself
Dividing itself in sixths
Natural-born osmo-plasmic
Bio-arborous creature
Reaching its natural state
One of hate, one of peacefulness
Your face, so beautiful
Is this what you want, this is what you want
Is this what you want, this is what you want
Is this what you want
Revolutions in time
Is this what you want, this is what you want
Is this what you want, this is what you want
Is this what you want
Synchronously itself
Is this what you want
So much glory, so much pain
So much, so much glory
So much, so much glory
So much, so much pain
So much, so much glory
Falling backwards
Into nothing
This is what you want, a fucking shell
No, a fucking puppet
This is what you want, you want me to be
Dependent on your give-outs and your love
Your only sane grace, your only assets
This is what you want
You fucking monster, you fucking dickhead
Let's try again
No
I am so sick of these
Dreams that you left me to die with
Do you ever think about me too
What did I ever do to deserve this
Where did I even fucking come from
Who the fuck am I
Like you'll ever know
Sometimes the mirror tells me things that you will never know
Just gotta step back and let the little flowers grow
Where did I put my keys, I gotta go back home, home
Where did I end up, where am I even going
You were so beautiful until the mirror cracked
Holding onto everything
Holding onto everything
Holding onto everything
Holding on
I am so sick of these
Dreams that you left me to die with
Do you ever think about me too
What did I ever do to deserve this
Where did I even fucking come from
Revolutions in time
Synchronously itself
So much glory, so much pain
So much, so much glory
So much, so much glory
So much, so much pain
So much, so much glory
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9. |
80% Satisfied with This
03:42
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You do mean a fuck to me
You mean as much to me as you think you do
This feeling fucking sucks, I don't care
I'm eighty percent satisfied with this
Where did the twenty percent go
To the dope, to the blow
I'm eighty percent satisfied with this
Where did the twenty percent go
I think you know
I love you
I loved it
I really want to be completely transparent here
But I'm afraid, I guess
It's spiritual, emotional love
That's the only word I can think of to describe it
You could say that, I guess I will be transparent in this case
This was all for you
This was all for you
Presented in rows orderly
Neatly organised
I'm gonna die some day, I better try something
My life is slipping through the cracks of yesterday
Not satisfied
Fuck, why
Sleep, so peaceful
Sleep, so peaceful
Tantalizing, am I that tantalising
Am I that tantalising
Am I that tantalising
Am I that tantalising
Judging by your eyes, we both can say that's true
Don't be dissatisfied by my dissatisfaction
Locked away in the cottage of dreams
A million miles away from its source in sleep
Won't you sleep with me
Sleep, so peaceful
Sleep, so peaceful
I'm eighty percent satisfied with this
Where did the twenty percent go
To the dope, to the blow
I'm eighty percent satisfied with this
Where did the twenty percent go
I think you know
I love you
I loved it
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The Budd Dwyer Effect St. Louis, Missouri
The Industry Is Dead And We Have Killed It.
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